A Life With You
by moriaretamor
Summary: "I've just been thinking." There was a pause. "About what?" "About you." ...Tag for "Violets." A look at what "really" happened after Lisbon got off the phone with Marcus that night. And beyond. Jisbon! (please review :D)
1. Chapter 1

Jane heard the patter of bare feet on the hard floor. He relaxed his breathing and closed his eyes instinctively. The footsteps stopped just behind his couch and he could feel her presence behind him. She paused for a moment before covering him gently with a blanket. Warmth rushed through him as he thought of what a caring soul Lisbon was. He listened for the sound of her footsteps walking away before opening his eyes a crack. There was her retreating back; covered in a red silk red pajama top. Actually all she was wearing was a red silk pajama top. That stopped mid-thighs. He snapped them shut a moment later; wondering what might have happened if he had remained "awake" when she came down.

She headed back up the stairs and he let out the breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. A few seconds later he sat up, rubbing his eyes. Jane could already tell that this was going to be another restless night. He groaned and stretched before peeking out the window. There was a small light winking at him from the trees out front. _Hmmmm. Must be one of Mckaye's men out there._ Hopefully Lisbon didn't see it. Patrick paced the floor in front of the window for a few minutes before extending his wanderings to the rest of the main floor, thinking about the ruse they would be pulling tomorrow. He chuckled, contemplating the elaborate plan he had formulated. This would be very entertaining, indeed. The plan had gone unbelievably well thus far. He had known it would.

"Hey, you woke up." came Lisbon's voice from just behind him. He spun around swiftly, not expecting her back downstairs again.

"Yeah." He sighed "I think I've gotten all the sleep I'm going to get for tonight."

Jane took in her full apparel now that Lisbon was facing him; the dark hair still straightened from this evening, the sleepy way she yawned, the exceedingly short night shirt. He raised an eyebrow, wondering at her comfort with the current situation. It seemed so uncharacteristic of the modest, self-conscious Teresa Lisbon.

"I just came back down to see if there's any food in the kitchen. I'm starving."

"I'll join you" he replied with a grin."I could go for some food right now."

They ambled towards the kitchen, turning on lights as they went. He grabbed a bottle of wine left over from the party and got down two glasses from a high cupboard. She rummaged through the fridge and came back with a picked-over cheese tray and a plate of canapés. Scanning the pantry, he found a few half-eaten bag of chips and an assortment of chocolate.

"Well…" Lisbon said with a light chuckle, looking around at the selection spread out across the counter. "Dig in!" he smirked, pouring the wine. They chatted as they ate; analyzing the con they had pulled and going over the details for tomorrow. Jane sat on the counter and she leaned against it, both enjoying the comfortable companionship.

"It wasn't quite chocolate chip pancakes, but it worked." Lisbon laughed as they cleaned up.

"What about pancakes?" he asked, wondering where that had come from.

"Oh," she replied "I was checking in with Marcus earlier, and I mentioned there was probably nothing to eat around here. He was mercilessly teasing me about going to this great diner he knows for pancakes."

_Marcus? _Jane questioned silently. "Oh. Agent Pike." He said aloud.

"Yeah. Pike." She responded, not looking up at him.

_Pike wants to take her to a diner?_ He grimaced. _Diners are my thing!_ He had seen the way Marcus Pike had been looking at Lisbon and he had heard the way she flirted with him in the FBI vault, but he hadn't thought they had escalated to a first name basis already. What would it take to get her to refer to him as Patrick?

Jane was still lost in his musings as he reached up to put a wine glass in the cupboard. He looked down to find Lisbon trapped between him and the counter. Their eyes met, his arm still extended in the air, her face inches from his own. Everything froze. Jane could feel her warm breath on his neck. The faintly earthy smell of the wine on her breath tickled his nose. His skin suddenly felt as though it were on fire and could see the tell-tale blush creeping across Lisbon's face. He waited a moment more, set the glass down, closed the cupboard, and brought his arm back to his side, never breaking the gaze. Their fingers brushed, and they both looked down. He quickly took a step back. "Sorry" he murmured, as she self-consciously pulled on her pajama top for the first time.

"I'm gonna head up to bed." she said, leaving the kitchen.

"Ok. I'll follow you up. I have to use the bathroom," he quickly added as she saw her almost imperceptible pause. In a house like this, you would think they'd have a bathroom on the main floor, maybe more than one. But no; there were two in the basement and one upstairs. And one out in the pool house, he remembered. He followed her up the stairs, trying not to think too much about how right this felt. Him and Teresa, just the two of them getting ready for bed, in their own home. He tried to shut the images out of his mind but it was hard to do with the reality that surrounded him.

** xxxxx**

Jane sighed as he looked into the bathroom mirror. There were lines on his face he hadn't noticed a day before, and a dullness to his eyes. He turned off the water and scrutinized the face in the mirror. Yes, there was definitely something going on there. A weariness he hadn't noticed before. He passed a hand over his face and closed his eyes. Images of the home he had built with Angela rushed back to him in rapid succession. He hadn't thought one night in a house with Teresa Lisbon would bring back so many memories; arouse so many emotions. He hadn't thought that the hopes of a normal life he still clung to would surface so easily.

"Jane, you still in there?" came a light rap at the door.

"Yeah, just a minute." He dried his hands and opened the door, leaning against the frame. "What's up?"

"Oh, I just. um. Need to brush my teeth." Lisbon said, nervously.

He didn't move.

She took a step forward looked up at him questioningly. "Jane?"

He gently rested his hands on her forearms. "I've just been thinking."

There was a pause.

"About what?"

"About you." He said with a small smile.

She could see the sadness in his eyes and wondered what he meant. She remained silent, waiting for the rest of the words she knew would come when he was ready. But they never came. The next thing she knew, his arms encircled her, and his mouth was gently pressed against hers, leaning in. She stiffened and put her hands on his chest. _Is she going to push me away?_ his breath hitched. But then she leaned against him, kissing him back. He breathed in the scent of vanilla and cinnamon and pulled her closer, closing his eyes. He felt her hands snake around his shoulder and clasp behind his neck, pulling his head down.

A warmth spread through him that filled his very soul. He slowly pulled back, and stepped away. Jane looked down into Lisbon's eyes and he could see all the uncertainty that swirled deep within them. He took her hand in his and gestured to their surroundings.

"This is what I want." He said softly. "A home. Normality. Waking up each morning next to someone who knows me better than anyone else. A life. With you. "

Her eyes widened as she looked up at him.

"Not that this is some sort of proposal or anything." He glanced around, uncharacteristically nervous. "I'm just saying that I...I want to try at a normal life again. and I can't imagine any kind of a normal life without you. All I know is I can't bear the thought of you being with a man who isn't me."

Her face was flushed and she wore a look of pure surprise. "Jane"... she whispered softly, taking a step back. "I don't... I mean. This is so..."

Jane interrupted her quickly "I know. In a way, I guess this is sudden. It's something we've both danced around for over ten years. I think we've known it was always there, lurking in the shadows, but we couldn't admit it. It's always been an unspoken truth. Until now."

Her eyes were locked on his, but she didn't say anything.

"You don't need to give me any kind of a response. I just... I just needed to know you understand what i truly feel for you."

He gave her hand one last squeeze, broke off the piercing gaze, and jogged down the stairs, never looking back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for the follows, favorites, and reviews! I love to hear your thoughts, so keep them coming! Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it :)**

Lisbon slammed her hand down on the alarm clock with a groan. She had not slept well. Her fitful dreams had been plagued by shadowy figures and green eyes. She grabbed her makeup bag and headed for the bathroom, stopping just outside the door. The memory came flooding back to her. The feel of his rough beard on her cheek, her hands in his hair, the soft scarf rubbing against her neck. "A life. With you." he had said. Her brow furrowed as she thought about what that could mean; for both of them.

She loved him, there was no denying that. And he cared about her; she had always known it. But the nagging questions in her mind had wondered what _kind_ of love he had for her. All the vague references had been enough to make a girl go insane. She had resigned herself to the fact that he would never move on from the family he lost. Now, just as _she_ was just starting to move on, he kissed her. _Now_ he finally clarified his feelings. _Now_ he expected some sort of an answer. Lisbon's heart pounded as she remembered the passionate way he had looked at her. It was all she had hoped for, for so long. But something in the back of her mind was holding her back.

**XXXXX**

"He's here!" Jane called up the stairs.

Lisbon took a deep breath and wobbled down the winding staircase. The black heels and short dress were definitely not her style. She grumbled under her breath as she tugged at the skirt. Jane greeted her with a warm smile and cheerful hello. She thought she caught a glimpse of uncertainty beneath his carefree mask, but it quickly vanished into a casual smirk.

"Nice dress." Jane teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Thanks. This insane con-man I know picked it out for me."

He rolled his eyes and took her hand under his arm.

"Here we go." he said, opening the door. They made sure to chat and laugh casually as they went; something that surprisingly wasn't hard to fake.

** XXXXX**

"Now what?" Lisbon asked as they walked back into the house an hour later.

"Now we wait."

_We wait._ What a perfect metaphor of their relationship, she thought with a bitter smile. Always waiting.

The drive with Mckaye had been intense, but pleasant. Jane and she were back to their normal, joking selves. Everything had seemed so natural.

Jane poured some champagne and motioned for her to take a seat on the opposite couch.

"About last night, Jane..." she said hesitantly.

He just looked back at her with those piercing green eyes.

"I don't think I'm ready for this yet." She faltered. "Whatever 'this' is. I don't know what to say, expect that nothing is easy right now." She looked down and toyed with the glass in her hands.

He remained silent.

"I had just finally started to think about moving on from everything that happened, when you came back into my life. I could go for days without thinking about Red John, or how much I missed the team, and the CBI…and you. It's been like a magical dream, you being back; this job, these people. But there hasn't been anything about being with you again that's lead me to believe you…um...liked me." She blushed deep red. "Our..._relationship_ has meant so much to me. I just need some time to think about things." she stopped.

Silence had never seemed louder than it did at that moment. She looked up hesitantly, and he finally spoke.

"I guess I've been trying to find a way to express 'things' since I came back." Jane acknowledged. "I don't think I even knew how I felt. I sure didn't want to admit it to myself. It's been at the back of my mind, waiting to come out. But being here, 'playing house' with you, everything finally came to the surface."

Another long silence. She wanted the same things Jane did, Lisbon admitted to herself. She wanted a normal life. A home with someone who loved her. A stable person to come home to every night. Her fantasy had always been a relationship like that with Jane. But even in her wildest dreams, she knew it would never be reality. So she had blocked out the images. She had tried to replace them with something new. And now...

Could they really ever be "normality" for one another? Patrick Jane, the wounded egotist with the beautiful soul. The man who had killed to avenge those he loved. He was fiercely loyal. Unbelievably sweet. An infuriating know-it-all. Teresa Lisbon, the woman who had stood by his side and helped him get his final revenge. His partner, his best friend, and now...his lover? He knew her better than anyone else in the world, but what kind of a life could they have with the history between them? All the times he had left her, lied to her, betrayed her. All this times she had stood and watched him walk away, not knowing if she would ever see him again.

He was gazing out at the driveway. "It's ok, Lisbon. You don't have to say anything. I just want you to know i'm here for you. I know that this probably goes against everything you know about me; but I'm not leaving until you leave me. I'll keep holding out until I get an answer. And I'm always going to love you." Her breath caught. _He loves me._ She watched Jane's face as he continued to look out the window. When he turned back towards her, he gave one sad smile before putting his guard up.

"It's show time."

**XXXXX**

Lisbon had been more than a little taken aback by Jane's confession. In fact, she had been terrified. Flattered and awestruck, yes, but terrified. That's why, when Pike looked at her with those big adoring eyes and asked her to have pancakes with him, she said yes. He told her right away how he felt. There was no hidden meaning under layers of emotion and pretense. The words couldn't be interpreted in a thousand different ways that would lead to a thousand different questions. Marcus Pike wanted to get to know her. He thought she was beautiful. Straightforward confessions had never been one of Jane's strong suits. _Until now._ She pushed that last thought out of her mind, giving Pike a confident smile.

She was just grabbing her coat and purse when Jane walked in with a boyish smile lighting up his face.

"Where are we going?" he asked lightly.

There was an awkward pause as Pike made a few hand gestures and hesitantly invited Jane to go along. She held her breath.

"Oh no, you kids go have fun." He said casually.

Lisbon gulped and tried not to look at him. _Why does everything have to be this difficult?_

"Good night, Jane." She squeaked out while hurrying towards the elevators, Pike close behind her.

**I know that was a lot of talking... and thinking...and contemplating. But things get a little more romantic in the next chapter, i promise. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Again, thanks for your support! There will definitely be one more chapter, maybe two. I'm not quite sure yet. Enjoy, and feel free to let me know** **what you think! **

Jane sank into the couch as he watched Lisbon leave. _There's your answer, _he told himself. _She just said no. _He unwound the scarf from around his neck. It was the only remaining detail of his fake persona; the only reminder of his "home" with Lisbon. He tossed it to the other side of the couch and sat deep in thought. A few minutes later he pasted on a smile and made his way to the break room, where there seemed to be some kind of celebration going on.

**XXXXX**

The case closed pizza-party had lasted for over an hour. Everyone gleefully went over the detailed con they had pulled. Everyone except Lisbon. And Pike.

"We should solve cases like that more often!" Wiley had exclaimed with a laugh.

"Nah." Cho responded. "I've been through enough of Jane's elaborate plans to know that you do **not** want that to be a regular thing."

Jane huffed and put on a mock look of offense.

"You know you missed me, Cho."

Cho had smirked and headed back for another piece of pizza.

Now the offices were dark and everyone had gone home. Only Jane was left, pacing through the maze of desks, occasionally looking out the window. _Just another sleepless night._

The ding of the elevator rang out through the quiet room, startling him out of his thoughts. He jumped and sank back into the shadows next to his couch, watching.

_Lisbon__. _He held his breath, waiting to see if anyone was with her. _Nope._

He waited for her to get closer before coughing lightly, trying to gently make his presence known.

Lisbon jumped violently and grabbed for her holster as he stepped into the light. "JANE!" she yelled, putting a hand on her heart. She sank into the nearest chair available and he chuckled softly.

"Sorry. There was really no way around that without giving you a heart-attack."

"You're lucky you didn't get shot." She sat for a minute, waiting for her racing heart to calm down.

Jane didn't move from his spot by the couch. He was silent, staring at her curiously. The room was still dark and the light of the moon cast dramatic shadows across his face. His eyes were shadowed, his lips and cheekbones emphasized. He seemed to be silhouetted in liquid silver.

Lisbon's heart began to race as they continued to hold each other's gaze. She finally stood and walked over to her desk; her back to him.

"I left my phone here," She said apprehensively. "And I thought I might… do some paperwork…or something."

Silence.

She grabbed her phone and rifled through the top drawer of her desk. There were few footsteps behind her and then nothing. _What is he doing?_ Lisbon wondered.

She gasped as Jane slowly wrapped his arms around her waist and clasped them in front of her. He laid his head on the back of her shoulder, pulling her in close. She felt his stubble on the bare skin of her neck, his strong arms holding on for dear life.

"Jane…" she whispered. He turned his head and lightly kissed her neck, the warmth of his lips sending shivers down her spine. She relaxed into him, her back leaning against his chest, her arm resting on one of his own. She could feel the steady beat of his heart. He held her closer, lips pressed against the base of her neck.

What seemed like an eternity later, he drew back and grabbed her waist. In one smooth movement, he spun her so that she was facing him. He was close. Too close. Her whole body was paralyzed; her mind clouded over. She tried to look anywhere but his excruciating gaze.

"I thought you were going to wait for an answer." She said softly.

Jane took her chin and gently lifted her face towards his.

"I did." He whispered. "You said no. Now it's my turn to prove that you made the wrong choice."

Her breath caught. "I didn't say no! I never said anything."

His mask came off and she watched his eyes cloud over with sadness.

"I know. Actions speak louder than words, Teresa."

"It wasn't like that. I mean…Marcus just..." She stopped, realizing what that small dinner with Marcus Pike must have looked like to Jane. She realized what it had apparently told him about how she felt. _What did she feel?_ The rage and terror of all this uncertainty bubbled up within her. Lisbon slammed her fist against his chest, and Jane quickly took a step back, hands in the air.

Tears filled her eyes and she tried to hold back a sob.

"I never said you needed to wait for me! I never said I loved you back! I never said anything! I waited for you for eleven years, Patrick Jane. I waited until there was nothing left inside me that could wait anymore. You never gave me any indication that you would ever love me back. Not like this." The dam broke and tears spilled onto her cheeks.

"See, there's the problem, Teresa." He said in his infuriating know-it-all tone.

"You love me." His thumb gently brushed at her tears; his palm resting on her cheek. "We might as well start telling each other the truth."

"Yeah Right, Jane!" she replied, her voice bitter as she pushed him away. "Because telling the truth has _always_ been the way we do things."

"Exactly." He countered, taking a seat on his couch.

He turned on the lamp behind him, the warm glow illuminating his golden hair and beard.

She sighed.

"I think we can both admit that we've been in love with each other for years now."

She raised an eye brow and crossed her arms.

"Oh, really?"

He smiled inside. How typically Lisbon; she had to argue with everything.

"Yes. Really."


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm planning on writing one last chapter. Sorry this one is so short! Hopefully you like it. Thanks so much for the follows, favorites and reviews! Keep telling me what you think: I love it :)**

**xxxxx**

"It's time that we face the facts and decide what we're going to do about it." Jane announced, gesturing for her to sit.

Lisbon collapsed into her wheelie chair with a look of exasperation.

"We've already established that I love you. And I'm pretty sure we've just established that you love me."

"So, now we're supposed to be one big happy family?" Lisbon sneered.

"Would you knock off the tough girl act?" He asked with a grin, grabbing her chair and pulling it so she was directly in front of him; their knees lightly touching. "I'm trying to be serious here."

"Ha! You?"

"See what I mean? You just go straight for the heart." he placed his hand on his chest with a dramatic flourish.

"Sorry."

They were both silent, staring each other down.

"Teresa." Jane said, drawing her name out softly and leaning forward. He gently ran his hands up and down her calves.

Lisbon shivered, her resolve cracking into a million pieces.

"What?" she whispered.

"Do you love me?"

A long pause. An annoyed huff. A small sniff.

"Yes."

"So what's holding us back?" He questioned.

"From what?"

He leaned forward, hands on the arm rests of her chair, lips a centimeter from her own.

"This." he breathed as he closed the gap between them and pressed his warm lips against her own. He was tentative, waiting for her response.

_This is it._ She realized. _This is where he gives me one second to make a choice that could affect the rest of my life. My response will be the answer to whatever he's asking me._

With Jane, it had always been about actions. He had lived his entire life as a con-man; a psychic who manipulated words and emotions for a living. He knew that words could mean anything you wanted them to. Words had gotten his family killed.

Actions were the important thing. The hug he gave her meant more than the whispered words "love you." The team defending him with guns drawn meant more than a phone call to see if he was all right. Personally catching Red John gave him more peace than hearing that others had put him justice.

Yes, Patrick Jane was a man of action.

She remembered what he has told McKaye yesterday about the painting: "Manet painted it as a gift for his brother's wife; his forbidden love. He couldn't express his love for her in words, so he did it in a different way."

She had sat in the backseat overwhelmed by the feeling that this statement was meant for her. It was his silent explanation, when all else had seemed to fail. Every time he lied, every time he walked away: it had been out of love. Sure, sometimes it had been mixed with selfishness and his personal thirst for revenge, but in his mind, he had been protecting her from a serial killer and guarding himself from being destroyed. Again. He hadn't been able to find the words to tell her that he loved her in the midst of all that pain. But he had shown her in the only way he had known how.

And now here he was- this beautiful, crazy, secretive man- laying everything out on the table, asking her to make a choice. Everything in their relationship had climaxed into this one moment, and he wanted an answer.

Even as these thoughts flashed through her mind she felt him slowly start to pull away. Lisbon quickly grabbed his collar with both hands and pulled him back. Hard. The force set her chair to wobbling. She leaned into him, crushing his mouth against hers, breathing in the faint spice of cologne that hung around him. She tasted the sweetness of his lips and made sure he knew her answer. _Yes,_ she said with everything inside of her. _Yes._

Jane leaned in close, putting his full weight on her chair. She was lost in his eyes. Mouth lost in his lips. Fingers lost in his hair.

Lisbon suddenly felt a flying sensation in the pit of her stomach as her chair shot backwards and ricocheted off the desk behind her with a violent jolt. She slammed her feet down on the ground and sat motionless; briefly stunned. _What just happened?_ she wondered, blinking her eyes. Teresa looked down to find Jane lying face down on the floor, groaning.

"I think I have whiplash." She moaned, slowly standing. Her knees wobbled beneath her; whether from the kiss or her adventure across the room in the hands of her chair, she couldn't be sure. She was inclined to think the former.

Jane rolled over onto his back and gave a pathetic whine. He looked like a little boy, with his curls all a-mess and his face twisted into a theatrical expression of pain. She towered above him and crossed her arms, trying to look stoic, but she could feel the smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Moments later she sank to the floor in a hysteric fit of laughter. Jane propped himself up on one elbow and feigned offense at her apparent lack of concern.

She paused for a moment and glanced at him out of the corner of her eye before bursting into laughter again. The tears rolled down her cheeks as she tried to get herself under control.

"It's ok. Don't worry about me over here. I'm fine." He grumbled.

"Oh, I know you are." She said with a grin, resting her palm against his cheek, and kissing him slowly.


End file.
